I am a terribly inertia driven shopper though and never got around to it, then Linda gave one to me.

Since I started wearing it, I’ve only been to the office, so I can’t say what it’s like to wear it out to a bar or a cafe. What I can tell you is that I wasn’t interested in it BECAUSE it was a social object, that occured to me after I put it on.

For me it is not a mockery of marraige or an ego driven splashy scarlet letter making me a desperate potential victim to scam artists. It is quite simply a small reminder to myself that I’m okay as a single woman.

It is not a vow to always be single. It doesn’t declare my hatred of men or a distaste of relationships. It is a physical manifestion of some healing I’m trying to do after having my heart broken twice in 2007.

And if people talk about it, then it might become a social object. It is different than the Blue Monster, wine or the iPhone? Yes. Of course it is. Is it about money, ultimately? Yes, of course it is.

Singelringen is a jewelry company serving a niche market. They found a cool angle, a good designer and some nice people to sell it.

That’s called business, I think.

I suppose the single ring is somehow like getting a tattoo or some kind of body mark (jewelry, etc;) to define yourself, if that’s important to you at the moment. Some people are into that and that’s all good and well; I respect that it may be important to some and of course, I’m always up for a good joke.

But on the other hand, an engagement ring/marriage band is special *precisely* because it is what it is. When one takes a vow to be responsible and accountable to another human being, it *is* VERY important. And perhaps people have come to take that for granted. How can any single person deny the sanctity of this vow? That’s the whole point of the ring! How can any single person be so naive?

Personally, as a single woman, I would not buy a singleringen ever. It wd not be a ’social’ object at all for me, but one that makes a mockery of something that I believe should be taken seriously, even if I happen to not be in the estate of marriage at the moment.

I once gave five dollars to a woman at the supermarket who couldn’t pay for all her groceries. I was also quite broke at the time. My life coach told me — it could’ve been five *million* dollars, or five cents, it didn’t matter. it was the act of exchange and the act of love that mattered, not the green bill signifying “five dollars.” So maybe we should be talking about the currency and action behind the object. I think the object is a metaphor for the energy that is shared.

For example, I was introduced to lolcats about a year ago. Each lolcat I encountered was side-splittingly hilarious. The phenomenon broke ranks with the underground when it was picked up by major media. With that level of exposure came a tremendous increase in user-contributed lolcats and, predictably, a decrease in quality. My last visit to icanhascheezburger.com left me unfulfilled. The lolcat has run out of lol. I’m sure alexa will concur.

The same will likely happen with singleringen. What started as a cute way of connecting individuals is becoming cliched. As knowledge of its significance infects the general population, it loses its uniqueness and, in turn, its purpose. Another social object dies from overindulgence.

With all this talk about social networks and social objects, no one seems to talk about the why. What motivates someone to wear a colorful fashion accessory or create a colorful ego-centric profile page?

The answer is attention. We all want someone’s attention, especially if it’s positive.

Identifying myself by decorating myself or my ego-page is a good way to “break the ice” and get some attention. But attention is an addictive drug. Once I have a little, I want more. How do I get more?

To keep feeding the monster some people just keep socializing. If someone’s listening to me, then they must be paying me attention.

But you let anyone talk for an extended period of time and eventually you’ll find some reason to dislike them. Yes, you’re single and hip, but you’re also a jerk. Yes, you’re ego-page is eye-catching, but you’re also egotistical.

The ego-centric social object cuts both ways. You interact with enough jerks wearing Singleringens and soon blue rings worn on the right hand become associated with desperately-single, socially-inept dweebs who need some cheap gimmick to initiate a conversation with the opposite sex. (This is right around the time our parents (aka the tragically unhip) first start to figure out the “new thing all the kids are doing these days”).

The problem is that there’s no logical link between wearing a singleringen and being single. It’s all hype from the Singleringen company - hype which can be turned on its head at any time. In the end, most people are turned off and return to the tried-and-true ways of signaling singleness. And a few people, frustrated by the disconnect between social object and identity, take it too far by, for example, wearing shirts that say “I’m single” in big bold letters across the front.

Singleringens and MySpace pages are not good social objects.

A good social object allows someone to naturally and logically conclude what they should do to get more attention. If my videos receive a lot of views, then I should make more videos. If my photos receive a lot of positive comments, then I should take more photos. If my blog gets a lot of link love, then I should write more blog posts.

If my singleringen or MySpace page gets a lot of attention, then I should quickly take advantage and change topics to a different, better social object before my ego-centric accessory goes out of style.

Alex is absolutely right that the conversation around Singelringen is what people attribute to it and that pride in being single is a significant factor. Both single men and women are tired of being bugged by their friends and family to get married as though being single is less than that. Singelringen is a declaration that as a single person you are already complete. You are not broken, you are not desperate, you are OK.
Some feedback from Singelringen wearers:
“A guy can add to my life but he doesn’t define it” “I don’t need a marriage license to validate my existence.”

The ice-breaker effect: “I wear three rings and the only one that anyone really ever asks questions about is the singelringen. You guys did a really good job of making the ring look symbolic and making it stand out against other normal, decorative rings. I always enjoy explaining the meaning of it!”
And as Alex pointed out, once you are talking you put your own story to it. One guy wrote us, “I decided to buy a ring to commemorate the 10th year of my divorce”

Some people appreciate the “signal” aspect of Singelringen, that as a status ring, it indicates the person is unattached. Some say no, they prefer no ring so that they can lie about their status when convenient. Particularly, in Canada I hear about women wearing wedding rings to keep men away. In this sense, I believe that wearing Singelringen also indicates confidence and a willingness to be honest to those who might approach you.

And here’s a weird thing. We know that neediness drives people away and genuine self-assurance is attractive. It could be a placebo effect but many wearers report they are pleased with who they meet after they start wearing Singelringen.